Bad Aunt

"I'm not a very good uncle."

This is a common refrain of mine. Sometimes I have to admit it sheepishly to single women who I have a crush on. It's not a very endearing trait-- being a bad uncle.

Not me

But is it true? It's not like I'm mean to my siblings' offspring. I don't insult them or beat them or tell them Santa died of a broken heart because they were wicked little urchins. My biggest offense is negligence. I just don't really take much interest in them.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late. -- Jack Handy

Also not me

I've always thought this makes me a bad uncle because every childless single woman I know absolutely dotes on her nephews and nieces. They can't wait to spend time with them, take tons of pictures of them, smother them with presents and auntly love.

Me... not so much. I'll be there for the occasional baseball game, school play, cross-country meet, or birthday, but compared to my single childless female friends, I'm as active in my siblings' children's lives as a neighborhood dog.

But I realized something recently. Not living up to my female friends doesn't necessarily make me a bad uncle, all it makes me is a bad aunt.

I can live with that.